Beyond trinkets and drama

What changed? At some point along the way, everything did. Yet I cannot put my finger on it because I am a different person now. I spent most of my life just getting by, with a good image but feeling like a fraud; never quite doing anything well enough to make a difference—in me or for the world. What changed? I don’t even want to go back there and think about it, but something definitely did and it was like turning on the light for the first time ever, and seeing colour. Now I live in it: colour. I had seen some colour before, of course. I had been curious about its seemingly magical qualities, but I had never had it enter my being to my very core. There was too much damage getting in the way, somehow, that caused me to dismiss, or analyse, or simply gloss over it as I moved on to the next thing, the next crisis. But there are no crises. So, what was I doing? The only crisis is that most of us on this planet don’t really live our lives. We don’t really own our selves or even see what we are. So distracted are we by the trinkets and drama. The eternal best friends of the ego that provide infinite distractions to keep us amused, concerned, trying, crying and away from what really matters; that which cannot be spoken or objectified, but can be truly experienced and realized. That which shows us the true colour that we really are, always have been and always will be.